CRYING…. We all do it, but ‘DO WE DO IT ENOUGH AS ADULTS?
What did we do when we were babies, ‘We cried’ we cried if we were feeling alone in our cots and those tears brought a safe, warm, comforting hug from our parents. We cried when we were children growing up, when we fell over or felt unsafe because we were being bullied and once again our tears brought a warm, safe hug from our parents or peers. But now as adults many of us cry less, doing our best to do everything possible to distract ourselves from crying and so we don’t get a warm hug or a change to feel safe and everything is ok. Maybe because of what we were told when we were growing up or perhaps the stigma around crying in adulthood shows weakness, especially if we do it out in public or in the workplace.
Crying is a natural response to our emotions, a human healthy thing that we do to help us cope with and manage our way through challenges that life throws at us. Most of us cry tears of joy, tears of sadness, frustration, grief and although challenging for some a good cry is the best way to deal with these difficult feelings and it’s so important that we allow the tears to flow and give ourselves time and space to embrace these feelings.
We’ve all experienced stress over our lifetime, ‘Yes you have’, even if you don’t think you have. Stress has many implications on us, one of them being, it can tighten are muscles and heightens tension. Emotional tears contain higher levels of stress hormones so when you cry these tears help us to release stress and some of this tension, flushing out these hormones and other toxins from our system, helping to detoxify the body.
Our bodies are regulated by our ‘Autonomic nervous system’, a twin system that works together, consisting of the ‘Sympathetic nervous system’ and the ‘Para-Sympathetic nervous system’. The sympathetic nervous system is linked to our ‘Fight or Flight’ and the ‘Para-Sympathetic nervous system’ calms things down. Crying activates our Para-Sympathetic nervous system, and this helps the body to rest & digest, creating a soothing effect and restoring it back to a natural state of balance.
How many of us have cried when we have watched a film and find ourselves uncontrollable crying because it resonates with how we are feeling at that point in our lives, we have a real good cry and after we naturally feel better, this is because it’s our bodies natural way of making us feel better and reliving the stress around the event, instantly improving our mood. This happens because when we cry, we breathe in many small bursts of air, which helps to calm the mind, giving instant relief.
Another example of how beneficial crying is to us, tears also contain potassium and manganese, both nutrients are essential in regulating blood pressure and cholesterol. Self-soothing endorphins like oxytocin (the feel-good chemical) also gets released when we cry giving us a sense of well-being and calm, helping to ease physical emotion and pain, found in a study by ‘Repellar’, ‘The science of a good cry’.
I’m sure a lot of us have heard of the phrase ‘Just what the doctor ordered’ and having a good old cry can be just that, by not crying we are ignoring and stopping our bodies natural way of releasing stress and restoring emotional balance. Many people deal with different emotions through ‘Repressive coping’ (we keep our feelings locked inside, as explained in a Harvard health publishing article) and this can be true when it comes to ‘Men’ and ‘Boys’, men are very good and choosing to keep their feelings hidden and out of sight, choosing not to express or show their emotions believing it’s a sign of weakness, they ‘Have to be strong’, ‘Be a man’ most likely a behaviour they have learnt from their parents or peers. Young boys growing up can also adopt this behaviour from hearing these words from their parents or the peers around them, they are told ‘Be a man’, ‘Toughen up’ or ‘You’re not a man if you cry’. Repressive coping can lead to behaviours that we adopt when we are young, that we take with us into adulthood. Lucky for us research has shown that through crying we have our own ‘Safety Valve’ an important mechanism that allows us to release stress and emotional pain.
Crying is a sign of healing and therefore teaching young children and re-educating adults that ‘It’s ok to cry’ can reduce negative behaviours and release suppressed emotions, so it’s the best thing that we can practise when it comes to staying mentally healthy. And one country that has done just that, is ‘Japan’.
I have found out that the Japanese are such strong believers in the massive health benefits that crying has on us, as human, that some cities in Japan have set up their own ‘Crying Clubs’, ‘Yes’ ‘Crying Clubs’, these are clubs where people come together, daily, weekly and are encouraged, without judgement, and in a safe environment to release stress, emotion, frustration or whatever they feel they need to, by having ‘A good old cry’!!
Listed below are a few benefits of crying.
7 Benefits of ‘Crying’
- Restores Emotional Balance
- Improves Mood
- Self-Soothes
- Relieves Stress
- Improves Vision
- Detoxifies the Body
- Helps relieve Pain
So, it’s safe and beneficial to say………… ‘It’s OK to Cry!!